


i don't love you

by disaster_queer



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Leaving The Dark Sides, Based on a My Chemical Romance Song, Deceit | Janus Sanders-centric, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Songfic, The Author Regrets Nothing, anxceit breakup but that's not the main focus, i wrote this at 3 am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:48:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28855365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disaster_queer/pseuds/disaster_queer
Summary: Virgil leaving the Dark Sides. the song the fic is based off of is I Don't Love You by MCR.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Kudos: 11





	i don't love you

_Well, when you go,_

Janus had known for a long time that Virgil was going to leave him someday. He saw the way the anxious side stared longingly at the Light Sides and their interactions, and the way he tried to keep Janus away from them for as long as he could (Janus obliged him, of course. He always did.)

So it shouldn’t have been a surprise when Virgil sat down with him and said he wanted to leave the Dark Sides to join Morality, Creativity, and Logic. 

Janus always knew he was going to lose Virgil, 

He just didn’t expect it to be so soon.

_So never think I’ll make you try to stay_

“Okay.” Janus nodded, his throat suddenly dry. 

“Okay?” Virgil repeated, looking at him suspiciously. “That’s it? You’re just going to let me go?”

“Of course I am, stormcloud. I won’t force you to somewhere you _obviously_ don’t want to be.” He’d had to say ‘obviously’, hadn’t he? It wasn’t like that changed the entire meaning of his sentence or anything. Now he was insinuating that Virgil had never wanted to be with Janus, and in a worst-case scenario, Virgil would interpret it as his usual sarcasm and get defensive.

_And maybe when you get back, I’ll be off to find another way_

“Wow, okay. It’s not like I willingly spent the last twenty years of Thomas’s life with you guys. It’s not like I stopped you from enacting the increasingly desperate plans you cooked up day after day. All that, and it still isn’t enough for you?” Virgil said sharply. 

“It is! That came out wrong, I just...” Janus choked on his words, a sudden pressure making him trail off. 

“Silver tongue failed you? Or are you just too scared to lie to me?”

Fight or flight, Janus remembered. Virgil had clearly chosen both. 

_When after all this time that you still owe, you’re still a good-for-nothing I don’t know._

“It’s not that, Virgil. I wouldn’t lie to you,” Janus pleaded.

“You wouldn’t lie to me? I thought you were Deceit- good for nothing besides lying and manipulating!” A hint of Virgil’s Tempest Tongue began to leak into the words, adding to the tension in the room. The shadows in the corners writhed and stretched, clawing for Janus. 

“I...” Janus’s hollow sadness was coalescing into something harder and darker. 

Rage. 

“Just leave already! That’s what you came to do, isn’t it?” He shouted, ignoring the pressure still building on his tongue, sticking to the truth even though he was just itching to tell a lie. He didn’t need to complicate things more.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you’d appreciate a goodbye! What did you want me to do, leave a note on your door saying ‘hey, I don’t want to be the villain anymore, and also I don’t love you’?”

_So take your gloves and get out, better get out, while you can_

“I don’t care!” Janus snapped. “I don’t! You should have left the damn note, instead of coming here looking for a fight. Take your stuff, and get out of here! I don’t ever want to see you again.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Virgil hissed. He shouldered his backpack, and stormed towards the door.

_When you go, would you even turn to say,_

Virgil sunk out the second he passed through the doorway, and if he looked back, Janus never saw. He was staring hard at the opposite wall, willing the tears gathering in his eyes not to fall

But for all his efforts, fall they did.

_I don’t love you, like I loved you yesterday._

Janus knew he had messed up. 

Virgil knew he would never go back.

And they were both more miserable than they’d ever been in their lives.

**Author's Note:**

> this originally started out as a vent fic about janus struggling with lying all the time and virgil getting sick of it and leaving, but i cut out most of the original fic then somewhere along the line turned it into a songfic so i ended up with this trainwreck instead. there's still a couple sentences from the first draft in here, those are the parts about janus feeling a weird pressure and forcing himself not to tell any lies at all.


End file.
